This, that, and the other..

We My uncle and cousin are remodeling our livng room today. The noise of concrete being sawed and rhythmic banging is driving me literally up the wall. I don't know if it is part of my OCD or if it is just something that drives me up the wall.. but, I can't stand rhythmic noises or thumps. Like, someone shaking their legs or tapping a pencil. The rhythm of it constantly gets on my nerves. Because, it's the same noise.. over and over with the same beat. I know, I know.. I'm weird. It's okay, really.. you can say it. I get it all the time.

It's just so dang loud in this house! I can't hear anything, at all. Mom is watching TV but, I don't understan how! Hahaha.. it will be over soon at five. I don't think I can make it that long.. the noise is really starting to make me mad. No joke.

I could be spending the day with my best friend.. but my mom somebody won't let me leave the house. I don't know if it's because if she has to suffer the earshattering noises, so do I? She said that my uncle may need something and I can run to Lowes and get it..

Speaking of Lowes! My brother, Chad, sent me yesterday & they had nothing he needed. I felt like an epic failure haha.. Plus, they had nobody working who knew anything in there about any thing that I needed. I was irrate, because I felt like I had let Chad down. Hahaha.. Seriously, so I learned that I'm not the girl for Lowe's runs! Send someone who knows what they are looking for. Because, that place is too big !! I could have done it if the workers knew what they were doing. I'm not saying that all Lowe's workers suck at life and need to find a new career (for any of you that work there) however, they should have a test that these people go through. Seriously. I'm sure there are awesome people that work there and know what they are doing.. I just didn't get a hold of those people yesterday. At all !!

Today, Chris had to go to the doctor to get a CT scan because he has a syst in his throat. His doctor told him that he wasn't going to rule out cancer so they did the CT san to figure it out. I ask that you guys pray for him, please. The word cancer is enough to scare someone. That's a serious thing. I always try to find verses that match situations and I wanted to find something that would help him out. & I found Psalm 91. The whole Psalm is amazing.. However, I favored one particular verse, that goes a little something like this...

"I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust."

--Psalm 91:2

Sometimes we ask why, and question. I know that I do it all the time.. sometimes it's just faith that we need. That's the only explanation. I know, in the past, I have had problems with faith. We just have to remember that God is our refuge and our fortress and we must put all our trust in Him:).

Have a beautiful day!

Wordless Wednesday

This is CM (his name is Chris, by the way).

& I want to state that, I hate how the mic is in front of his smile.

Want to know what he is doing? He works at a racetrack as the guy that waves the flags or something.. hahaha, I know nothing about NASCAR or any other kind of racing.

Welp, that's Chris:).

Oh & you may be wondering about Zach? We are just friends. & that's all I want to be.

You may not care to read this..

I'm annoyed, so I'm going to come on here and rant about it. I hate to be pessimistic on my blog.. because the last thing you would want to do is to come home from a long day of work or whateveryoudo and read about my annoyances.. I'm just going to list them so I don't have to disgust them and get more annoyed.

1. When people leave their plates at the table expecting the cook to clean it. They cooked, you clean it.. they also got the dishwasher ready for it so all you have to do is open the door and put plate, fork, & glass in the right place.

2. When people say "call me and I'll answer" and you call and they don't answer and then they say "I don't know what happened, try again" and so you try again and still they don't answer.

3. When people delete you off Facebook and are rude to you in front of you and then wants to know why you ain't texting them. Well, I wonder why?

4. The same people that deleted you off Facebook say "send me a new friend request and I'll add you" then.. you do, and they deny it. You're a jerk. I just want to let you know.

5. The fact that I'm annoyed by all of this, annoys me.

6. When people leave water in the dishes in the sink and when you have to go clean it up there is gross, nasty water everywhere.. how about you try it one time and see if you like it?

7. When people hint at, that they want what you have or something.. just ask for it. It's going to be yes or no. Don't make it all awkward.

Maybe it's just one of those days!

I think that's all, for now. But, if I think of more later, I'll let you know:).
Again.. sorry for the pessimistic point of view. My bad.

The answers to all of your questions..

All two of you that have asked.. better two than none at all:) here was y'all's questions!!

What do you want to be when you grow up?
When I grow up I want to be a super model, hahahaha.. I'm totally joking.
Since I was a kid, seriously, I have always wanted to be a special needs teacher. I love those children, they are so amazing. I have had the oppurtuinty to work with them two years when I was in highschool at school here in Morganton called North Liberty. It's attached to one of our middle schools here (where I attended) Liberty Middle. However, I don't think I'll ever be a special needs teacher..

I think I'm going to go to school for some type of secretarial job or something, maybe a day care worker.. I'm not really sure yet.

Even though it's not a career, I'd love to be a youth leader when I grow up and mabe bring some RA's & GA's into our church if our youth ever grows big enough:). God lays youth on my heart a lot ..

What are you doing to achieve your goals?
I started a FASFA but I never finished it. I'm seriously terrified of school & new things. It's a serious problem I have that I am just now breaking out of my shell and trying to overcome. My aunt is going to help me with grants and everything when the time comes.

Do you really read your Bible every day?
Seriously, I used to and I was growing and learning so much in Him & I was so excited about it. Lately, (about the past month or so).. I haven't. I love it when I do though.. because scripture is always in my mind..

Thanks for your questions:).

Q & A?

I don't have as many adoring fans as many of you, however, I want to do this anyways..

For those of you that do follow..

Ask me anything you want. Absolutely ANYTHING..
&& I'll answer in another post & get back to you:).

So, I'm thinking right now.. that I'm not going to get any feedback and be totally embarrassed & erase this blog at a later date, but who cares. We'll see what happens:) Hahaha..

So let me have it.. ask away!!

Oh the joys of being young

I've never "dated" or "talked" to or "whatever" I'm doing right now. Seriously, I mean it. When I say never, I mean never people. Well.. nothing worth while or that even lasted. I must say "talking" to and "hangingout" or whatever you call what I'm doing is really fun. I guess I'm a little late in the game for all this. Because I am 18 and all. I suppose it's better late than never. I am also going to say, for the first time in a long time I'm finally content with my life. 2010 has started off with an awesome start:).

Today was an especially fun day. I got to spend the day with Carrie, Ryan, and Zach. It was fun. They spent the majority of the day riding Carrie's horse. Jamie, here, don't ride. I love horses. They are beautiful and fun. I absolutely love them. I am just scared of them. I can be around them and pet them and occassinally walk them around but I just can't ride. It's high up and I'm clumsy enough. I can't balance or something. Anyways, tomorrow they think that they are going to get me on this horse. Maybe they will, who knows what will happen.

Tomorrow, we are hanging out again. Tomorrow night we are going to Hickory to eat and then whatever.. I don't really know.

Sunday, Zach might go to church with me. I don't know if he will, but I really do want him too. After church, at around 3 or so we are going to head up towards the mountains. Carrie's mom's parents live up there and they invited me along on their adventure:). So I'ma go. It should be alot of fun.

I was alot better today with being myself around Zach. I think the more I'm around him the more he sees the real me because I open up more.

I have a story to share with you about an adventure we took tonight. Hahaha, it involved me, Carrie, Ryan's truck, a post, wax, & the grocery store. Haha, I'll tell you tomorrow though. I'm tired right now. G'night.

I love nothing more than good times with friends!

It's true. I LOVE hanging out with my friends, almost more than anything in this world. I hadn't hung out with Carrie (girl in the pictures you are about to see) in almost a year. We got into some ridiculous highschool fights back in the day & just stopped talking, went in different directions, & started hanging out with different people. True friends stay, so I have heard. She's more like my sister. We've been through it. That's what you call real friends, right there!

So here you go, without further adoo.. pictures I have promised for over a week now of Carrie, Ryan, me, & the new kid.

No, haha, this isn't the new kid. Obviously I'm not the one kissing him on the cheek (there was no cheek kissing or any other kind of kissing for my family members that read this blog.. put your guns, knives, & other weapons away).. this however, is Ryan & Carrie:) They are actually getting married on October 30th. We tried on wedding dresses this same day, but I can't post those pictures because Ryan might see her dress!

This however, is the new kid. We ain't dating. So again, family members & over protective brothers *coughchadcough* put your guns, knives, and other ammunition away please. Anyways, this is him. He's a really cool guy.

This is me & CarrieLee in the back of Ryan's truck (yeah, the "gentlemen" stuck us in the back. They should have let us drive, hahahahahaha). We were on our way to Bo's in Lenior. I had never been there before, but it was actually alot of fun. Haha, we bowled in the VIP section. Get at me:) Hahahaha.. I really should take bowling to the next level. I'm talking major league here. As the gutter queen of course:( Hahaha.. not bowling in a while really gets to you.

This is Carrie & the new kid. (His name is Zach by the way. I'm so tired of writing the new kid when I can just simply spell out Z-A-C-H). She officially adopted him as her big brother haha.. because she's never had one and she thought he would make an awesome one, I suppose. This is when we were all saying our goodbyes before Zach & Ryan headed back to Burlington, NC.

Last, but never least, this is Carrie & Ryan again. They are so cute. & they really do love each other. As Carrie adopted Zach, I adopted Ryan:) Just because, the kid man is really funny. So we are all a big happy family! hahahha:).

At this moment I am currently washing clothes, so I can hang out with these lovely people again tomorrow, & Saturday. I'm pretty excited because they really are a lot of fun & lots of laughs are always involved. I will try to get some more pictures within the last couple days, maybe a video or something, just because you know me and my camera:) Hahaha.. I have a "green child" as Ryan said, or maybe Zach, not sure which one. Anyways.. my laundry is calling. Catchya later!

Work on your heart not your body

I know you have heard me mention the book "The Truth About Guys" by Chad Eastham. Amazing book, I advice every teenage girl to read it. I've read it like three times & I always get something new out of it.

I love how God shows you things right when you need them. Y'all know that I have had a problem with my body lately since the incident at the dress store with the new kid.. & about me following my flesh instead of God, Himself. Well, I was reading this book just now, before I was going to lay down & it says..

"God wants you to put down the mud that you're playing in and trust him. He has a treasure that he will give you instead. The treasure is something beautiful and won't easily slip away. God wants you to focus on your heart, not your body. You can trust that God's plan is better than your own, and he's working in someone's heart right now as you read this book! He is working to make that heart one that will love you the way you deserve to be loved. But now it's your turn. A friend of mine once said "Your heart and body should be so wrapped up in God that a man has to go directly to Him to ask for it." Wouldn't that be nice? A guy who asked for directions from the only one who knows the answer?"

That my friend, was amazing. That my friend, made me cry. Ahh! I love how God works. I think I might be getting this thing sorted out. Still trying to slap myself right in the flesh & look to God for guidance in my life.

You need to smack yourself in the flesh..

Thought I would slide in here before we leave for church.. (all 6 of you that follow:))

At this moment I'm having an OCD attack because my sheet is coming off my bed. I'm going to choose to ignore it because like my mother says "it's easy Jamie.. it's going to be okay!" hahaha. The world will not end if my sheet isn't fixed. It won't end even though my perfume bottle is turned the wrong way, it won't end even though my mirror is a little crooked, if I don't go back and then forward again on my iPod, or if my drawer isn't closed.. **breathe.

I really am OCD, I should be tested for it, so my parents will stop thinking I'm crazy. Anyways, that's not why I'm here..

I'm sure all of you that have a relationship with God have been through this little perdicament that I am about to share with you. Flesh vs. God. Know what I'm talking about? Mine involves CM & the new kid. I feel like maybe, just maybe God wants me to be with CM. When the new kid hurt my feelings and such, all I wanted was for CM to be there for me.. & of course he was, because he said that he'd "wait forever".

Wait, wait, wait.. let me redo this. To make it simple for y'all!

GOD:
I believe God is telling me to go more towards CM. Because, CM loves God just like I do.. & through out all our fighting & me even talking to someone else.. he has been there & stayed & we can still talk on the phone for four hours without the slightest feeling of awkwardness & laugh our butts off. I found a quote in this book I have (Truth About Guys by Chad Eastham)..

"True friends don't spend time gazing into each others eyes. They may show great tenderness towards each other, but they face in the same direction --- toward common interests and goals--- above all, a common Lord" -C.S. Lewis.

CM & I do that. We are the BEST of friends, & I can truely be me around him.. & he loves God. We have actually conversations that last a lengthy amount of time about God, church, the Bible. I've never had that before..

Although he lives far away, if God would lead me & my heart in that direction, it would work out. Just because God doesn't make mistakes.

FLESH:
The new kid. My flesh wants him. Not in a gross way, I'm not for all that stuff. I mean.. the new kid appeals to me. Yes, to my eyes, but also to my.. I don't know the word. Interests?! Not that CM doesn't. Here's the thing. The new kid is saved & he does go to church. However, his spiritual walk does not line up with mine. I'm like 52435390 times ahead of him. As horrible as this sounds, I can already feel my relationship with God weaken. I'm not like quitting church, cutting my hair, & joining a cult. (apparentally when I miss church it makes the news, it did last Wednesday, anyways). Anyways.. it weakens because I'm not asking God's guidance in our "relationship" or whatever it is. I'm just doing it.

I believe everything happens for a reason & the new kid was put into my life for a reason. Maybe for me to be an example to him & encourage him to be where he needs to be with the Lord. Possibly not as a girlfriend, maybe just a good friend.

I can't read him though. I'm normally pretty good at reading people. But, his pages get stuck together. Drives me insane when I can't figure someone out. You would think if you spent two days with someone you would be able to read them a little better, but I can't. He's mysterious.

So, there you have it.. my dilema. Not really a huge one, but it could be. I'm still fighting my flesh. My best friend said "you need to smack yourself in the flesh" hahaha, love that girl.

Maybe just maybe, if I asked God's guidance, it'd be clearer on who to date. I'd figure out which one is suppose to be my friend & which one is suppose to be my beau. Hm.. I feel like I'm in highschool again. I never had guys in highschool. I "dated" about.. 4 in four years. But, three of them were in the 9th grade. Oh my, oh my..

Hmm.. whatadooo?! I hear the church bell, seeya!

Mr. Potato Head..

Or not so much Mr. Potato Head, as Mr. Clayman wearing the the Mr. Potato beard. I find this creepy, hahaha.. everyone else finds it funny.
Well, I guess it is:) Hahahaha, silly kid!!

Oh & we have to add an Aunt James & Clayton picture. Just because Clayton said "cheese" hahaha, he tried to take a picture of himself.. but he just can't aim yet. He'll learn, if he hangs around me long enough.

I promise that I have not forgotten about my pictures with the new kid.. my friend just hasn't uploaded them to Facebook yet.. however, I will get them. If she doesn't upload them, I'll upload them when I go to her house this Friday or Saturday:)!

You may be wondering if Friday or Saturday at her house has anything to do with the new kid, well yes.. it does.

Good day!

I'm not that girl..

I keep telling myself that..

An incident happened the other day & ever since, I have compared myself to that girl. I don't look like that girl. I'm not as skinny as that girl, my hair doesn't do good like that girls, I can't get my makeup to do that, my eyes ain't that blue, my teeth aren't that white, my clothes don't fit me like that.

I wasn't jealous of that girl, because I love who I am (inside). I was jealous of the fact that she could make him look at her like that. I was jealous because I can't make him look at me like that, because I'm not that.. & I never will be. It'd take years. I wasn't completely jealous, I just felt bad about myself.

In the last two weeks, I've lost 11 lbs. In the right way, no. Hahaha, but 11 lbs none the less. & they all seemed pointless & at loss.

Here's what I'm getting to. I am not put together.. at all. I have decided, I'm going on a diet & some serious excersize. & in like a year or two I'll look like that girl. Well, I don't want to look exactly like her, but I'll be a Jamie that I'm happy with & I can wake up & be like "Jamie.. you are pretty:)" & smile at myself..

This isn't a new years resolution. It's a jamieswantedtobeskinnyforyearsspurofthemomentdecision thing. Hahaha:)

Sydney Grace & Johanna Raye

There is this babygirl named Sydney Grace who is about 3 days old that was born with the same thing Johanna was. Trisomy 18. The doctors gave her parents the same news as they gave my brother and his wife. That if she lived till birth she'd only live a few minutes or hours. Well God is showing off and she is doing really well last I heard her heartbeat was 130. I believe.

I thank God for showing off in their lives.

Johanna isn't someone I think about alot. Don't think me a horrible person. I love that little girl. I just don't think of her. She's always in my heart and I do think about her, just not alot. Makes me long for her and hurt too much. Thinking of baby Sydney made me want her today. I missed her. && I was envious and jealous that Sydney's family has her. & I hope and pray that they have her for many years. It just all made me long for Johanna.

Sometimes I find it hard to cope with or believe that God didn't set out that will for my family and me. That's all.

Disclaimer: iPod touch.

Mirror Image..

I follow a blog called "The Dialogue", I like this blog & she is a very tallented writer!! I personally think she could be a very successful writer. Anyways.. her post for today was about what you see when you look in the mirror. & I thought about that, and thought that I would do a post on what I see when I look in the mirror. Physically & Spiritually & everything else in between.

This will probably be the most truthful post or really anything I have ever said. I'm going to try really hard to write what I think about myself. It's slightly a challenge to sit down and find things to say about yourself. Both positive & negative. It's simple to find negative things, but to focus on positive is hard to find, sometimes.

Let's start with the physical features & whatnot:

When I look in the mirror physically I see, a tall girl. My height only bothered me in middle school. Because I was taller than everyone. But now, it's fine.. I'm taller than all my girlfriends, but I'm shorter than all my guy friends, & that doesn't bother me. I'm comfortable in my height.

I also I see green eyes that used to be hazel, but one day they just stayed the same. I used to want blue eyes, because I have a fascination with blue eyes however, I like my green eyes now. I just think there should be more songs about them. I listen to country, & they always sing about blue or brown eyes. However, yesterday I heard one about green eyes. They are rare, but they should be more or them. Anyways.. I like my eyes now. I think they are pretty:) (Yes, that is a picture of my eye).

The next thing I see is a heavy girl. My friends yell at me when I say that I'm heavy. They go all "no you aren't Jamie!" haha, & I say "don't play.. I'm not dumb" I am.. don't listen to them. However, as much as I don't like this aspect of me, I'm learning that when I insult myself, I'm insulting God. I'm trying to lose some weight so I can adore myself more as God adores me.

I like my hair.. When I was a kid it was short from ages: 9-11 (those are pictures y'all will NEVER see!) So, I like it long, & I keep it that way. It will probably always be this way. Every now & then I'll cut a couple of inches off.. but that's rare. Anyways, I like the color of my hair, & since it's naturally like that, I like it even more:)...

Spiritually, I see someone who loves God with all her heart, but struggles & trips over her own will. But, that's okay.. God is helping me out with that.

I'm going to go get ready to hang out with my best friend, sorry for the cut off of subject.. this is a little more of what I see in the mirror.

Oh & don't worry, I'll get pictures up of me my time with my friend Carrie, Ryan, & the new kid soon:) Probably tomorrow. I haven't gotten the pictures yet. Carrie will add them to Facebook, tonight.

Talk at you later!!

New kid.. Well he's not really a kid.

Alright, alright. I have got to get better at this bloggy thing. I used to blog everyday. Not so much anymore. Only because, my life just ain't as exciting as it used to be. Enough with the excuses!!

About this new kid, you may ask? Well let's rewind to the post before last.
CM had upset me. Well.. things were getting way better and the truth is.. he was starting to realize what he had done wrong. So he apologized and whatnot so I was thinking.. FINALLY we can move forward.

Well, Saturday night I went "outonthetown" haha with my friends, Carrie & Lacey. Carrie is getting married in October & me being her maidofhonor went to help her look at stuff. Well, while we were in Hickory she gets a call from her beau. Which is cool bc I've personally never got to talk to him or meet him. Well at the time of his call he was camping (don't ask. I couldn't figure out why they were camping in January either).

I think all this was an evil little plan she had scheming in her head.. she just won't admit to it. Evil plan or not she said "Ryan has a friend that's single". I was like "ok?". She talked about how he wanted a girlfriend and I was thinking.. If he randomly pops up & would talk to someone he doesn't know something has got to be wrong with him. However, there isn't. The new kid (who ain't really a kid bc he's 21) is pretty dang cool. && not bad looking:) haha. Looks don't matter, I know. But they sure do help. So, anyways..

We have talked on the phone since Saturday night & text and things. & Ryan and him both live about 2 hours away. Well, tomorrow Ryan was planning on coming up to see Carrie anyways and the new kid is going to tag along to see me. I find this cool.

I'll be hanging out with him Wednesday & Thursday. I'm sure I'll get pictures so I'll be sure & post some:)

Where does CM come into this you may wonder? Right now we are just friends I suppose. My decision completely. I told him about the new kid because I wasn't going to lie. So, I believe this is all.

I'm confused about everything really. I'm just going to have fun and enjoy myself. I'm only 18 once.
&& you never know what God may have in store.

P.S. The new kid is probably going to go to church with me tomorrow too. Which is cool.

Disclaimer: from iPod touch.

Movies Mayham.

Today has been a most good day for the first day of 2010:)

I'm glad. Everything is getting better! && uh.. idk.

Tonight, I went to the movies to see "Did You Hear About The Morgans?" It's a cute movie. I'm not a big fan of Hugh Grant.. at all. I'm sorry, I've just never really liked him.. but this is a cute movie. & if Ray, Wyoming existed.. it'd be my dream home. So beautiful:)

We originally planned to see Avatar.. but it was sold out. Sadface. Then we were going to see the BlindSide but we had to eat supper at my Granny's & I poured drink on Trish's pants so she had to change so we were late for the movie. Sadface. My bad.

I want to see Dear John so bad. Have y'all heard about it. With Channing Tatum?? Who is the most beautiful man I have ever met seen in my life. Ahh! Talk about celebrity crush<3 style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 307px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 478px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7700000/Dear-John-channing-tatum-7741268-307-478.jpg" border="0">

Anywho!! He's beautiful & I'd also love to read the book!!

This post is pointless. Seeyalater:)