tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12060606564952847622024-03-13T13:53:34.456-07:00Finding BlessingsJamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.comBlogger300125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-27110380104582907522012-05-31T12:59:00.003-07:002012-05-31T13:04:55.361-07:00Time Fly's!My last post was in February! How do we let time go by us so quickly? So much has changed in 3 months...<br />
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I'm still on my weight loss journey! In February I weighed in at 257. 3 months later I am weighing at 242. Not a lot to some, but I big accomplishment for me. </div>
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I've also gotten a job and that has helped me out ALOT. </div>
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My ex and I? I rather not see him on a daily basis. I never knew someone could cause me so much hurt and do the things I feel he has done towards me, because I would NEVER do those things. And, he wants to act like everything is okay. Well guess what, it's not!</div>
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Holding on to Jesus. That's all I know to do.<br />
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This is my best friend of 8 years? Since 7th grade. We are getting our own place together and we are so excited!! She just had gastric bypass surgery and I'm so happy for her. She struggles with self image even worse than I do. She's a big inspiration to my weight loss journey! Not only will I be pissed if she looks all sexy at 160 and I'm still her in the 240s... but, I want her to see that she isn't alone and that she always has me, through thick and thin (literally). Because, she has always shown me that! So, me and her got this. Even though she has a jump start and will be doing it a lot faster than me we can still do it. Together!<br />
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:)</div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-63997629873116310842012-02-23T21:58:00.001-08:002012-02-23T22:00:04.571-08:00Weight LossIt's something I have struggled with my WHOLE life. And, starting tomorrow, I will not let it control me anymore. My mom bought me this book for Christmas called the P.I.N.K. Method. I was at it for almost a month and lost nothing but 15 lbs... so I'm going to take this into my hands and do it MY way because, I've done that before and I lost almost 40 lbs. <div><br /></div><div>So, here goes nothing!!</div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-4833001841327388262012-02-22T13:53:00.009-08:002012-02-22T14:29:32.811-08:00My Best FriendJames and I are no longer together. I know, it seems strange to me too. two weeks ago I was talking about how much I wanted to get married, how much I love him, and all the juicy wedding plans. I've sat and contemplated as well how one day someone can be my world and next we are fighting and not right for each other.<div><br /><div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">I do not know the purpose of God's plan in my life. But, I'm going to follow him straight through it. Although a little nervous, I</span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">'m going to follow him because he has never left me before. He has always prevailed. I'm not going to let fear conquer me anymore.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><div><span style="font-size: 100%; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW-y-ovEeBkl8SilFbPYD4Bz34YkahjKVFvQUFOKMgZ0ra6KXVuNBpUPI6jbsvDzxvJyY4DHWNHQGn796Pp_BQkzXYmKkEmVctpjjGzQZYgx_0YNlos9RGlDVJgacwXQShodPxUgQMZOQd/s320/04302011317.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712083796643768114" style="float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: 100%; ">This is James and I on my </span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">20th birthday last year. We had been dating a week. He met my friends and I at the local flea market that morning and he remembered me telling him that I wanted a purple truck when I was a little girl and he ga</span></div><div><span style="font-size: 100%; ">ve me a purple play truck. After the flea market, his best friend, Evan, met us there and we went to a restraunt called Silver Creek. In the parking lot of Silver Creek he presented me with the necklace I am wearing in that picture. I'm sure that </span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">doesn't sound like the most romantic thing that you have ever heard but it meant so much to me. It was the first present a boy had ever given me. I wear it all the time to this day. This picture is also still on the dashboard of his car.</span></div></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><u><br /></u></span><div><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: 100%; "><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBdWd1Toctej4jPpCEvoDdnIJ1pR-gMjLPFQjlJSMZ64RwR7ao38E19RelRZYqmMJuNwQoe4TasQaomlvwCEhgeBWfw8VS94FjxdeUStsXXsms5zknlg4bMq7KQwT1zAu-KfwwqmGcv0Um/s320/10162011157.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712085541807234802" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; float: right; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></div><div><br /></div></span></div><div><span style="font-size: 100%; ">We had a child:) JUST KIDDING! this is Farrah Banera. S</span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">he is the sweetes</span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">t most cutest baby (she is also about to have some babie</span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">s, so if you want one... most def let me know!) He was getting an apartment and wanted a puppy. So, we got Farrah. Farrah has spent very many hours and days spent cuddling with James and I<3 I'm going to miss that, but I still get to see Farrah! I haven't ever cared about a dog like I do her. Don't judge me;)</span></div></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span><u><br /></u></span></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-a2UTpbhP_L3LzE7Xnr_UazBFYU71sK2BMOdWygOXPT5nQQiRUNrpkVDIhhvngsXtJmeHypEEsHF5SU4hMo1U7LbcTVBhAa3uvhNSrEkVhcVeIbFE5T2YDVllCmikfj1CqYH2Dno6C8F/s320/10232011192.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712086714381405554" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">Meet my best fr</span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">iend, James. He has the prettiest blue eyes, huh? He means the absolute world to me. I tell him everything and he will always hold my heart in a way that's unknown. Any man that may walk into my life will have to accept that this is my best friend and that I will spend time with him. Otherwise, they can't be part of me. I love him. In love? I think so, maybe... But, we are best friends. Always. He proclaims he is still going to text me every morning and say "good morning, beautiful" --- this works for us. We would spend time together anyways because we go to church together and ev</span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">erything, and this just works. My mom doesn't agree with it because she thinks it's going to be impossible. Maybe one day we will work out together. Someday, in time, maybe he can take my ring and propose to me in a really sweet way (again) and everything will be in place. In time, in GOD's time. But, for now, every decision was mutual. We prayed and we talked. Everything is going to be absolutely A-OK.</span></div></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">Here's a little "No Need to Doubt Him Now"</span></div><div><div><span><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7KGO9YFuJxA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div></div></div></div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-68699140385904965402012-02-20T16:55:00.001-08:002012-02-20T16:55:27.521-08:00My blog is a mess, I PROMISE it's a work in progress!!Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-83730190978282966232012-02-20T00:35:00.001-08:002012-02-20T01:07:10.956-08:00Find Your Blessing<span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">Tonight, I am staying the night at my brother's house (<i>Andrew</i>). Him and Trisha (SIL/ maid of honor/ bff... <i>you get it</i>) are <i>snug in their bed with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads</i>. Well, Andrew's is more like a 15 point buck from 30 yards and there's no telling what Trisha's could be...</span></span><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><b style="font-style: normal; ">Anyhoodle</b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; ">, I'm</span><b style="font-style: normal; "> wide</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> awake. Which isn't odd for me when I'm not at home. I always stay up at people's houses, I guess just because it's not <i>my</i> bed and<i> my</i> noises that <i>I</i> sleep with at night. And, of course, along with being wide awake at half passed midnight are thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts in my head. And, although I have a journal with me they are coming to me so fast, I feel I have no choice than to type them... rather than jot them down.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; "><br />If they'll even make sense. </span><i>Nothing makes sense anymore</i>.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; ">Today James said something to me that has stuck in my head all day and hurts me to the very core of my soul... "</span><b>no matter what happens between us, I'm going to be your best friend and I'm going to be there for you no matter wha</b>t" and then I said, with tears in my eyes "</span><i style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; ">what if I end up marrying someone else</i>?" and he said "<b>I will be there, front row, supporting you, and loving you</b>"</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; ">What if he's not who I marry? Because, five days ago... my world REVOLVED around him, and then just like that everything has changed.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">I know I'm doing what God told me to do and I'm having a hard time with it because this is the FIRST time I have EVER let God have COMPLETE reign in my life and it freaks me out because I have NO control WHATSOEVER (</span><i>like I had control to begin with</i>)... but why does it have to hurt so much? Why do I find myself praying everyday (<i>almost all day, in the back of my mind</i>) that he would take the hurt away? Why do I repeatedly find myself at the altar at church giving it up to him and asking him to put my feelings where they are suppose to be?</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; ">This is honestly the </span><b>hardest</b> thing that I have ever been through in my life. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">Last night, James and I were talking about "the situation" and I said "</span><i>does it not bother you that we aren't together</i>?" and he said "</span><b>yeah, it bothers me</b>" and I said "<i>aren't you going to do anything about it</i>?" and he said "<b>I'm still processing everything and sorting everything out. You had a month to pray about it, I got hit with it all in one day</b>" </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">AGAIN with the questions!</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">-Shouldn't he be fighting for me?</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">-Does he not care?</div><div style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">-This sounds</span><i> NOTHING</i> like </span><b>MY</b> James?</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">-Was this on his mind too? </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">-God, will you PLEASE put my feelings where they are suppose to be?</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">My posts are so scatterbrained lately, but I promise that one day they will be organized. My whole life is scatterbrained. James and I were in Subway, Wednesday night (</span><i>yes, we still spend just about the same amount of time together and we SUCK at being friends</i>) and all the girl asked me was what kind of bread I wanted and what kind of veggies... I couldn't think of what to tell her. I'm in this daze... I explained it to James as if <i>I'm in a hole and I'm trying so hard to hold onto him so I don't fall in but he's not holding on to me</i>. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">He acts like this is so </span><i>easy</i>... </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">And, he's still keeping things from me. He said he wanted to make this work but he's doing everything wrong. He wonders WHY I don't trust him. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">:( </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">Him and I have went through a lot together in the 10 months that we've been together and I am ALWAYS telling him to find his blessing. So, in the midst of this trial I have found myself grasping small things to bring me joy. Example: How excited I got today when I found out Cookout has banana pudding milkshakes. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">Never take love for granted. It's the greatest joy I've ever known and the saddest sorrow I've ever felt. But, most the little blessings in it all make it all worth while. I know God has a plan for my life and it's going to unfold. He's starting to show me what he wants me to do and I'm going to have big decisions to make and I've started choosing what he wants now... I can't stop here. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">Can't wait til one day I'm going to wake up and it's going to be a REALLY, TRULY, amazing day.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; "><span><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SGniRk_GcLs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span></div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-61316667889813758092012-02-17T16:51:00.002-08:002012-02-17T16:51:41.669-08:00First DateJames and I are going on our "first date" tonight. <div>He just walked through the door with flowers and a gift bag<3 </div><div>See ya!</div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-78811688980602445602012-02-16T10:56:00.005-08:002012-02-16T11:18:23.038-08:00That Girl<span style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">I am dreading it (<span style="font-style:italic;">but thanking God for it</span>)... having to go clean this house in a few minutes. I just don't feel like doing or going anywhere. But, while I was getting dressed I wanted to get something off my chest...<br /><br />I feel like I'm in a grieving stage. I feel like someone has died or something. I feel ashamed... I'm not regretting the decisions that I have come to in my relationship with James but I feel ashamed because I never thought that I would be <span style="font-style:italic;">that girl</span>. The one that was engaged before. I feel that sometimes that makes you look like you have a bad reputation once you meet someone later.<br /><br />I always thought I'd be the girl who KNEW that it was HIM and that we were going to get married and nothing could ever tear us apart... (</span><span><i>I'm telling you guys The Notebook is real</i></span><span style="font-style: normal; ">).</span></span><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; "><br />James has been engaged before, because James doesn't want to be alone. I know he loves me and I'm trying to give him that chance to "</span><i style="font-style: normal; ">man up</i>", if you will.<br /><br />I have a thousand thoughts running through my head right now and I'm not sure how I would write them out in a paragraph or even a sentence. So, I will just make you a list.<br /><br />Ashamed.<br />Manipulated.<br />Not trust worthy</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-weight: normal; ">(<i>towards people, not myself</i>).<br />Alone.<br />Uncertain.<br />Scared.<br />Sad.<br />Blessed.<br /><br />I have a wall up today. I know where it came from, but I don't like it. I have a wall up towards everyone today. I know God would not want me to have a wall up but rather choose joy.<br /><br />I'm trying, I really am. But, after yesterday I feel like James is off to a bad start. I feel like I am worth fighting for and he seems to act like it's no big deal because he had done it once before. I don't want to cut him off completely, but am I going to have to do that to make him see that I am SERIOUS?! I want someone to lead a household. I want someone that treats me the way I </span><b style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; ">deserve</b><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;"> to be treated. I'm not saying that he doesn't treat me right... he </span></span><b style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; ">is </b><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">a sweet heart and he </span></span><b style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; ">has</b><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;"> a good heart and he </span></span><b style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; ">tries</b><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;"> but he has NOT had the best role models in his life. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">I feel like people should be the same from the day you meet them and love them until the day you never see them again. I have been that to him and he hasn't been that to me. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">I don't trust him. </span></span><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">I love him, but I just don't know what God is trying to do in my life right now. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">Everyone keeps telling me that they were worried that we were rushing into it to begin with and they are so proud that I began to seek God's direction with this and figured it out for myself before I made a plunge and got married. They say what I did was mature. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">I don't feel mature or worth being proud of. Maybe, I'm just sad.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">I want to thank God for Jennifer Cutchens. She is such an amazing woman. Her, her husband, and her children. She may be the realist friend I've ever known. I thank her for coming to me and giving me the advice that I needed to hear. And, I thank her for supporting me. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">In times like these you figure out who really loves you.</span></span><div style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; ">Holding onto this song today.</div><div style="font-style: normal; "><span><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ugD0i5Y3cw8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span><br /><br /></div></div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-54504299534223470512012-02-15T22:37:00.000-08:002012-02-15T23:27:25.874-08:00Here to Stay/ Red's Birthday/ Valentine's Day<span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-size: 100%;">Okay, so for some reason... I couldn't figure ANYTHING out when I tried to make my new blog. I thought I was good on computers, oh well... over confidence will mess you up every time in ANY situation in life. So, I am HERE TO STAY (modifications to the blog coming soon. Including: new layout, theme, and name:))</span></span><div style="font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; "><span>
<br /></span></div><span style="font-size: 100%;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXgqpyYcQ9ZNYGs3bdgYFJ3wbGGYUJ9F197E_kzTHphwJ9S6UoFWI2SC8iW1hSs3wp7ozAFd8nwqOieebg6C785u4Dt19tAosHT5m5C29CV7BYdAjhlbXXEv2knbPiyQhFxP-E31e7GopE/s320/Clayton.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709625488119218114" style="float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px; " /></span><div style="font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; "><span>Before I start on what this blog is REALLY about. Let me just say <b><span>HAPPY BIRTHDAY</span></b> to the most precious little boy that has ever made my heart strings go "<b>zing, zing, zing</b>" (<i>Judy Garland</i>). Happy B</span><span>ir</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; ">thday, Clayton Avery Carswell. He's 4 today and the best thing I've ever met. I'm so proud of </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; ">the little boy that he is. And, I'm proud of my brother and SIL for raising him to be what he is this far. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; ">Today, Pawpaw and I took him to the science center for the Pre-K bus he rides. He didn't like the dinosaur exhibit because "the dinosaurs were kindah angry." </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; ">Then Mawmaw had him a surprise party when he got home! (wish I had captured pictures of all this but, I'm so scatterbrained lately... you are soon to learn why!)</span></div><div style="font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; "><div><span>
<br /></span></div><div><span>Happy Birthday Beautiful. Love, Aunt Jamie.</span></div><div><span>
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<br /></span></div><div><span>(<span>Picture stolen from Chad and Nikki</span>)
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<br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">This year is the first year I have ever had a "real" boyfriend on Valentine's Day. The first time I've ever had a "fiance'" (hate that word) on Valentine's day. Also, the first Valentine's Day James and I have ever had together... AND the WORST Valentine's Day I have EVER had my WHOLE life of being single. (I haven't been single my whole life, just on V-Day). </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">
<br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-style: normal; ">Listen guys, I'm heart broken. God has put his spatula in my mixing bowl of life and stirred it all up. Right when I thought I had the perfect ingredient of EVERYTHING. He showed me that </span><i>sometimes things aren't the way they seem</i> and <i>you have to do what's best for you</i> and MOST IMPORTANTLY <i>you have to follow him when it seems like the worse possible thing to do</i>. As I was struggling with some decisions I had to make (unfortunately they landed on Valentine's Day) I looked back on my life thus far and realized </span><b>God hasn't failed me yet</b>. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">
<br /></div><div><span><span style="font-size: 100%;">At this point, I love James and I want to marry him but right now God showed me that that's not what I need to do. James hasn't really found who he is. And, without knowing who he is he's never going to be able to </span>confidentially<span style="font-size: 100%;"> take care of a wife and most importantly (someday) a family. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-size: 100%;">
<br /></span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-size: 100%;">I believe that God called men and women to play certain roles in this thing we call life. Men are to lead and women to follow (not in a overly submissive way... in a Godly way) the man is to be the head. And, I want a man that can lead a family and lead them towards God. <i>I can't follow when I'm the one leading</i>. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-size: 100%;">
<br /></span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-size: 100%;">And <b>nobody</b> is going to have fun in a relationship where the wife/ girlfriend is playing the role of their Mom. That job was taken by someone in his life 24 years ago and I do not want it handed down to me. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-size: 100%;">
<br /></span></span></div><div><span>I believe in a certain type of love. Like, "<b><i>The Notebook</i></b>". <i>Call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one,</i> because someone else wrote about it and many people on this earth have experienced it. I'm not going to settle for less when I know it's out there. Whether God has it be James or some other man, I'm not quiet sure. But, I know it's real and I know it's there and I'm not going to give up until I find it out there somewhere. </span></div><div><span>
<br /></span></div><div><span>As for James and I. We are apart, together. Make sense? I didn't think so... but right now it's working for us (<i>I guess</i>). We are best friends right now and going slow. This Friday will be our "first date"... we should have taken it this slow from the beginning. Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation. I think we aren't in love, we are in infatuation (<i>Chip Ingram</i>).</span></div><div><span>
<br /></span></div><div><span>We have <b>a lot</b> to work on. He has <b>a lot</b> of maturing to do. And, I personally don't think I'm ready to "<i>settle down</i>". I know all I've ever wanted to be is a mother and a wife and I do... I want to take care of someone for the rest of my life... God has shown me the kind of man I deserve and want and if James loves me enough, I believe that he will allow God to change him and if he doesn't... It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I will have to let him go.</span></div><div><span>
<br /></span></div><div><span>I haven't cried this much in a really long time but, <b>I know that I can make it</b>. God told me so. <b>He said He'd always be by my side</b>. And, He's <b>always</b> holding my hand. All I know is right now,<b> I NEED HIM TO LOVE ME</b>.</span></div><div><span>
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<br />I will sing songs in the night.
<br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ezovk5QkPgs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-63533635937089903822012-02-10T21:27:00.000-08:002012-02-10T21:30:06.277-08:00I'm going to make a new blog. Yes, I love this one a lot and I've had wonderful memories written down, and rants when I'm angry and prayers (true and fake) to a very gracious and worthy God. But, I want something fresh. I'm about to get married and I'm going to make a place for James and I's life to go... and so on and so forth!! I'm excited to start something fresh.<div><br /></div><div>Here goes hours of perfecting a blog layout. It always takes me so long!! OCD!</div><div><br /></div><div>I will put the link on here when it arrives!<br /><br /><3 </div><div>Mrs. Puckett (almost)</div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-20334827500151994292012-02-09T01:33:00.000-08:002012-02-09T01:34:40.994-08:00Holding Out For a HeroI want a courageous man.<br />I want James to be courageous.<br />I don't want to be the one that wears the pants in a relationship.<br /><br />Love,<br />Mrs. Puckett (soon to be)Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-36173443165836771662012-01-30T13:53:00.001-08:002012-01-30T14:10:10.864-08:00NOT A PRAYER ~ catch up!As I normally write a prayer to God, I haven't been here in so long. I pray to God everyday. I feel that when I first started the "I Get On My Knees" thing... it was my justification of prayer. Prayer is something sacred and intimate between you and God and putting it out there for the world to see was my way of being a hypocrite. In a way... Not saying that what I have written wasn't genuine (because it was) but, that was the ONLY prayer I said all day. Whenever I posted, that was my prayer for the day, the week, sometimes even the month. <div><br /></div><div>So, here I am... just blogging. I'm not going to probably be here a lot because I have a Tumblr. But, I will once in a while. Because, I have gained quite a few followers while I have been away and I don't want their click of follow button to be in vain. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, to catch up...</div><div><br /></div><div>My last post (or prayer) was about a lady in our church losing the love of her life to a two year battle with cancer. It was heart breaking... I was scared to ever fall in love or be with anyone. But, little did I know a couple months later God would send someone into my life that I fell hopelessly in love with and we are getting married in June. I'm so excited and int he midst of plans everything is coming together. All I need now is a REAL job. Something that brings in more than 40 dollars a week! </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyhoodle, he is amazing. Everything about him:) everything. At the moment we are going through marriage counseling with my brother (who is going to be the preacher doing the wedding) and he is getting us to write a paper (that I need to get started on) and making a list. 10 goals that I (and he) want to accomplish as individuals in our marriage and 10 goals that we want to accomplish together.</div><div><br /></div><div>James and I have also decided to do the love dare. We don't have any problems in our relationship at all. We are normal and fuss (and when I say fuss I mean me more than him... he's so humble, bless him) over silly stuff. But, when we first started dating we were both Christians. I had just got my heart broken and was scared to date someone and I was trying to live for the Lord and he was a 'Sunday morning Christian' that ended up getting saved at a revival that we went to in April (sadly I broke up with him that night, but obviously we are doing awesome now!) Anyways, when we started out we mainly had our focus on God. However, we just kept going and got our eyes of God a bit. We didn't do anything bad, we just became comfortable, if you will. And, we are now (after watching Corageous) wanting to live for God and be the best husband and wife we can be to each other. I can't wait to start our lives together so we can glorify God together. I even left him a little note the other day that said "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together" ~Pslam34:3</div><div><br /></div><div>It's not about us, it's about him and what WE can do for HIM. So, the love dare it is:) Just so we can get closer to God in our individual lives and while in the midst of that, we will become closer than ever to each other. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love him.</div><div><br /></div><div>Signed, </div><div>~Mrs. Puckett (soon to be:))</div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-33128092634931755492011-04-10T20:48:00.000-07:002011-04-10T20:55:16.739-07:00LOVE AND LOSS<span class="Apple-style-span" >Dear God, </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >This weekend I watched Teresa lose the love of her life after they fought his cancer for two years. I haven't had this many sad emotions since Johanna died. My heart is burned and it breaks so much to see a woman cry out in the middle of a service and scream her husbands name... and then raise her hand in praise. The strength I see in her amazes me. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Just last week I was telling my mom how I wanted to get married so bad and have a family. That, that's the happiness I want out of life more than anything else... now that's the scariest thing to me. I'm scared to be alone for the rest of my life yet I'm scared that I would have to go through something like that someday and I just don't want that to happen. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >I don't know what you have planned for me. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >I know that I watched Mark struggle for so long but he was so strong. He never got mad at you. I haven't been through a glimpse of what he went through and I got angry and resentful towards you. And I want to serve you so bad but I have this fear that you don't want me anymore. I'm not really sure what to think of it. And I write these prayers to you, but are you really getting them? My faith used to be so strong and I don't know how to make it to that point in my life again. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >I don't want to live wordly I want to live Godly. It's just I don't want to people to see me as a hypocrite. I don't want to be labeled as that for how I have lived my life in the passed. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Help me, God?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Love, me.</span></div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-21742471371875489092011-04-08T01:11:00.000-07:002011-04-08T01:18:43.920-07:00IT'S BEEN SO LONG<span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Dear God, </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I am honestly not even really sure what I should say to you. I have lead myself out of your will and been to scared to talk to you. But, I read this thing today that it just makes it worse when I am so ashamed of my sin that I become silent to you and run away and not talk to you. Thinking that you want nothing to do with me. Why wouldn't you want anything to do with me? You created me? And I am your creation. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Sometimes, Lord, I just feel so messed up I don't know what to do. Some days I'm not sure even which end is up really. I know that you love me, and I know that you are there for me waiting for my return. And I have so many ill feelings in my heart I'm not sure that you really need me to be an example to others. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Today my Grandma told my Mom that I was such a wonderful girl. I just wanted to say to her that she doesn't really know me. If she knew half the things I have done that she wouldn't be so proud of me and that she wouldn't even want to pretend that she knows me... especially that I'm her granddaughter. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I know that I'm not the only person that has ever went through a hard time, but am I the only one that is too scared to talk to you from shame? So... I silence myself. And I have this fear that if you can't use me that you are just going to take me out of the way from this world and move someone else in that can. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I am low in my faith and I need restoration like no other. It hasn't even been a year since my coming back to you at church camp. I want that fire and that zeal and that peace and that contentment that surpasses all understanding back. It's is as if I don't know how to get back to it. I can't blame it on the weather anymore because well, the weather has been beautiful and my favorite kind of weather and I thank you for that. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I really do love you, God... even when I don't act like it or my life doesn't show it. I don't show it or act like it or tell you because, I feel like you are ashamed of me... but I guess, really... I am ashamed of myself. I don't know how to forgive myself so that I feel like you have forgiven me. I know that you have when I asked... I just want to feel it, and for that to happen I have to forgive myself for all that I have done. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I love you.</span><br /><br />Love, me.Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-54075718933198145552010-12-11T19:37:00.000-08:002010-12-11T19:43:32.373-08:00WINTER TIME<span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Dear God</span>,</span><div>What do you think of me? That's a question that I think is a VERY bold question to ask God. Because, I really don't think I want to know the answer.. but yet I do. However, with the way I am feeling I think that I know the answer. I'm not really sure when the last time I talked to you was. I have thought about you, but to actually say "hey God, you sure are beautiful today" it hasn't happened. I think it's winter. What a sad excuse. But, I don't like winter. I know, I know.. Lord, you made it and it's got to come.. it's part of your cycle. I just don't like being cold. I get bogged down and blue. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am always the one person that tells people that you have to see the sunny side of life. I am totally seeing it. Six months from now. Even now. My life is turning around. You are getting the biggest hug ever! I am happy, Lord. I really am. Winter is just an excuse. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't have an excuse. I'm sorry. Forgive me?</div><div><br /></div><div>In Jesus Name, </div><div><br /></div><div>Love, me.</div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-4869346513884795722010-12-03T10:24:00.000-08:002010-12-03T10:32:38.042-08:00SOMETIMES I CRY<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Dear God, </span><div>I know without a doubt that I'm saved and that you are so good to me all the time. Yet, lately my moods have been ridiculous. One day I can be the happiest person in the whole world and the next it would be best for the world to just not to notice that I exist. Isn't that bad? When I'm your child and sometimes all I want to do is cry?</div><div><br /></div><div>I grew up in church and I know all about you and your greatness and things... but still, sometimes I want to cry...</div><div><br /></div><div>I should be happy all the time with the blessings that I have, that you have given me when I didn't deserve them. Does this happen to your other children? </div><div><br /></div><div>I think I have an idea of what's going on but, I'm not sure. Will you please help me stay in a happy mood? </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh & I'm going to school soon "/ ach! I'm so nervous. Today I have to go for my physical exam. Will you let everything turn out okay? I'm pretty sure I'm okay.. I suppose it's just one of those nervous things when you go to the doctor when nothing is really wrong, but you are scared you are going to have something. </div><div><br /></div><div>Will you calm my nerves, please?</div><div><br /></div><div>In Jesus Name.</div><div><br /></div><div>Love, me.</div><div><br /></div><div><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tXKo-Y2YQoE?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tXKo-Y2YQoE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-88126043576743526362010-11-29T17:42:00.000-08:002010-11-29T17:47:37.124-08:00THERE IS A RIVER<span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God,</span><br />I have been thinking lately, that I am a lot like the woman at the well. My<span style="font-style: italic;"> life was ruined and wasted</span>.. <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> my <span style="font-style: italic;">soul was bound for hell</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;">But then</span>, I <span style="font-style: italic;">met the master and</span> you <span style="font-style: italic;">told</span> me <span style="font-style: italic;">of</span> my<span style="font-style: italic;"> sin</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">and said if </span>I'd <span style="font-style: italic;">just drink</span> from the fountain.. <span style="font-style: italic;">I'd never thirst again</span>. That really speaks to my heart.<br /><br />I can tell that we aren't as close as we were. But, who's fault is that? Yes, Lord.. I know. Mine. I get caught up in so much. I'm not going to make any excuses.. because, well, Father.. there are none to make. No not one.<br /><br />Thank you for making me happy. I haven't smiled this much, in a long time.<br /><br />I love you.<br /><br />In Jesus Name,<br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LHulAFaVpuU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LHulAFaVpuU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-59166702892674378962010-11-08T10:56:00.000-08:002010-11-08T11:10:23.226-08:00THROUGH THE FIRE<span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God,</span><br />Thank you a whole lot for our talk we had last night. I really have faith. It's really there and I know it's going to happen. :) I believe in you! One more time, God, just one more time.<br /><br />Thank you for allowing me to go with Daddy this morning to sing at the Daycare. Those older people can barely remember what happens from day to day, Lord, but they all lifted their hands when asked if they still remembered the day that the Lord saved them.<br /><br />Will you let more of you shine through me? So, I can stand and say "I am not ashamed" like the little lady at the Daycare. They are a blessing. Thank you for letting me experience that. & if you would like for me to, I'd like to go back next month when Daddy goes to preach. But, that's up to you. You can just let me know :).<br /><br />Thank you for my progress in this uphill climb from the "problem" that I had. I know with you that all things are possible and that you will <span style="font-style: italic;">bring me through the fire</span>. I know that with you I can do it. You will give me strength and courage and wisdom to stand up and say no.<br /><br />You have my life mapped out before me and I don't want to do anything in this world to postpone your will. Remind me that the valley's only make me stronger and that in you I have victory. <span style="font-style: italic;">Keep me in your will so that I won't be in your way</span>.<br /><br />I love you, Lord. This valley has been very difficult, but, I believe with you I can still make it. I believe I'm through the worst part :) and that only better things are to come. I love you so much for calling my name.<br /><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VP4OvUU-ZHU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VP4OvUU-ZHU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-78806411353328190452010-11-01T16:14:00.001-07:002010-11-01T16:24:16.107-07:00YOU'RE STILL GODDear God,<br />This life you have allowed me to lead has been an up and down battle since Johanna's first birthday. I know that you allow everything to happen to me for a reason, unknown to me. I also know that I could have stopped a lot of things that have lead me here. & I also thank you that you have forgiven me for failing you so miserably and horribly. I'm so wretched, yet you love me more and more as time goes on. You never fail. You have kept every promise you have ever made me.<br /><br />No matter the heart break I you allow and I bring upon myself. <span style="font-style: italic;">You're still God</span>. I never thought that I would want to rewind my life and redo everything. I thought I was this amazing person, Lord. But, I'm not. I'm vile, mean, rude, unworthy. Not good at all. But, none of us are.<br /><br />You'll make a way somehow. There is sunshine in this storm. I can feel it :).<br /><br />Thank you Lord for my best friend. I almost lost her the other day. I'm not sure exactly what I would do without her. She's the only one who has been there for EVERYTHING and never left me. Well, that's not true, now is it? That is you. But, you have allowed her to be my best friend to be here to help me through everything. Thank you.<br /><br />I praise you and thank you for finally allowing me and pointing me towards the right kind of guy. I am still going to stick to my dating fast, however if you allow him to feel the same for me.. I will go for it. Is that okay? I believe if you let him.. it's okay. I can just feel you in the midst of it! :). It's all up to you, though. I will love you either way. Because, <span style="font-style: italic;">you're still God</span>!<br /><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Cca0Vwb1yRw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Cca0Vwb1yRw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-89847289537862797652010-10-27T22:50:00.000-07:002010-10-27T23:00:39.599-07:00TAKE EVERYTHING<span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God, </span><br />I want you to take everything I have. Every fear, emotion, thought, family member, friend, hobby, job, boyfriend/husband.. whatever may come my way in my life.. everything. <span style="font-style: italic;">Take the pain inside, take the brokenness, don't stop til there's nothing left.</span> You can have it for your glory. I don't want it anymore. I can not deal with it. I can not handle it. But, you, my God, are the one who can. You are so powerful, long-suffering, and wonderful. You can handle everything I can't. You have already forgiven me.. yes.. but take me and although I don't deserve it, if you would like, use me. For you. By you. I am willing.<br /><br />I have been so wrong to you , O God, and do not deserve your blessings. Yet I keep seeing them everyday. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are so worthy! I can not praise you enough for what you bring me to. You knew everything that would happen to lead me up to this point. You knew exactly what it would take. Although it was a hard lesson that may or may not be over.. You are in control of ALL things, my God. You are what was and is and yet to come. You know everything that is going to happen. I will not ask why. I am scared to death, but tonight I am stepping out on faith that you know what you are doing. Because, you do. Better than me or anyone else. Thank you for a peace that surpasses all understanding.<br /><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/G9e5Z3G5Nk4?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/G9e5Z3G5Nk4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-56645059590437358332010-10-25T17:19:00.001-07:002010-10-25T17:22:55.126-07:00PLEASE FORGIVE ME<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Dear God, </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I have no where to start. I don't even feel worthy enough to come to you. I never knew that people were saying when they said "all the bad things I have done to Christ... & he still loves me, I don't understand why". I think I said that possibly because nothing bad had really happened to me. Other than the things leading up to my salvation. However, God, I failed you after my salvation. Has anyone done this to you? The way I did? After the promise they made and then back out on it?</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I don't expect to receive your blessings for a rather long time. If I ever receive them again.. I just ask for forgiveness and your grace. I will never go back and never do it again. I am YOURS.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Please forgive me, I need your grace to make it through. All I have is you. I'm at your mercy.</span></span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In Jesus Name. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />Love, me.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/P-7pX7-DQoQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/P-7pX7-DQoQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span></span></div>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-5808588435814662082010-10-19T22:49:00.000-07:002010-10-19T23:12:59.887-07:00LET THE WATERS RISE<span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God,</span><br />I haven't spent very much time with you today. I have either been chatting with friends, watching movies, or playing with my nephew. Even though those are very important things in my life, I could have stopped for five to ten minutes.. other than the 30 seconds it takes to say my blessing and pray and talk to you for a little bit. To open up your word and glance at a verse or two. Will you forgive me, Lord? Tomorrow, I shall spend some time with you. If you decide to give us good weather, I will go outside and find somewhere to go and sit for my Bible study and spend some time with you :). I think that'd be a perfect date. I know it says where two or three are gathered.. but, how about just one? Me. Will you accept that and come visit me?<br /><br />This valley gets deeper as each day passes. I get more into myself and alone. I don't like it and want to be near friends all the time.. yet at the same time, I don't. Does that make sense? Of course it does to you.. you are God. You don't have questions. You know what's going on, that's why I'm telling you all this. <span style="font-style: italic;">There's a raging sea right in front of me. Wants to pull me in bring me to my knees. So let the waters rise, if you want them to, I will follow you.</span> No matter what. Because, I know what it's like not to..<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I'm holding your hand</span>.<br /><br />One of my close friends is in a new relationship, Lord. He's more like my brother. & I know how he is with his mind on school.. will you help him to know how to balance both, with you still in the center? I am so proud of him. He has done so good at following his dreams, and you. You let him get accepted into the school that he's always wanted to go to and major in what he's always wanted to do. Will you use him? I know you do in my life daily. He's so humble. Will you bless his girlfriend too? Because, she is my friend too and I want what's best for both of them.<br /><br />I also pray for Nathaniel. Will you continue to help him and use him and bless him? He makes me smile. He has to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. He is so much like me it's insane! I've never met someone who understands what I'm trying to say. Thank you for giving me such a sweet friend.<br /><br />My last request of the night, God. I pray for my preacherman. Because, this has been on my heart for a couple days. Will you give him the woman he is suppose to be with? The one that can take care of him and meet whatever he needs? Will you give him one that is in love with you? & wants to adore you and serve you like he does? I'm not sure how long it will take, but I just wanted to pray that for him, because it's been on my heart.<br /><br />I am going to go now. I love you so.<br /><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KIkQ7YVys_A?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KIkQ7YVys_A?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object><br /></span>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-1210315289964628482010-10-16T22:07:00.000-07:002010-10-19T23:22:15.719-07:00YOU SANG A SONG OVER ME<span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God, </span><br />I am singing my songs in the night today. I am remembering all the good wonderful things you have done for me. You set my feet on a solid rock.. when I was in nasty old mucky clay.. hmm... I start to remember all the bad things I have done to you and then I remember you singing a song over me. I never want this love to end. <span style="font-style: italic;">Make a promise to me now that the love that I feel is so much more real than anything</span>. You are everything God. You are my everything. You have given me a beautiful family that loves you and amazing friends that adore you too.. You have revived me. You have given me new life!<br /><br />God, I really want to thank you for my new friend Nathaniel. He is a real blessing to me. It's nice to have someone that you can go to and talk about you and your love and your grace and your word and your songs. It's nice to know that there are still amazing people in this world. Good people. Godly people. It's hard to find in anyone. & I value this friendship you have given me. Lord, will you bless him? Will you help him? Help him to always stay happy and loving in you. He's such a sweet soul, oh Lord.<br /><br />In my book, God, today wasn't a very good day. But, then again.. you gave it to me. So, I will count it as a blessing. I love you so much. & I know that I have began my journey through my valley. I will make it through. Because, you are on the God on the mountain.. just like you are God in the valley.<br /><br />Will you come visit our church tomorrow? I liked it when you came by last Sunday. It was nice to feel you and spend time with you.<br /><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4m_dP2n-5W8?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4m_dP2n-5W8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object><br /></span>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-71085552618739947642010-10-13T19:23:00.000-07:002010-10-13T19:44:23.739-07:00FORGIVE ME<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God,</span><br />I think I will mark today down as a pretty good day. After all you gave it to me when you didn't have to. I love you for that. I know that I have failed you today. I fail you everyday, but today I know I did for sure. Will you forgive me for that please? & I won't ever do that again. I promise. I love you too much, Lord, too much to risk anything with you. I want all of you. I want to be filled with you and for you to know me personally and intimately as I want to know you. I want to be yours. I want you to use me. <span style="font-style: italic;">I am willing to be anything you want me to be. Lord, you've given new life to me.<br /></span><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lPpXBsYzv4g?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lPpXBsYzv4g?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-41586101412469341972010-10-11T19:38:00.000-07:002010-10-11T19:55:19.141-07:00PRAISE YOU IN THE STORM<span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God,</span><br />Tonight I have started the bible study that the ladies at church are doing & so far I love the way it is set up! & the subject that it's about. Knowing who you really are in all your holiness! I notice how people, including me, put you on our level and think that just because we do something good for you that you owe us something when in fact everything comes from you to begin with so you owe us NOTHING! It's an amazing concept. & I love how it was pointed out to me that your love for me is not based on my performance for you. You never change and you have always been the same. What I think of you reflects who I am in every situation that comes my way. Oh, I just like this study so much!<br /><br />God, you know the things that burden my heart this day. & I know that I am about to head into a valley. I can feel it, I may not be able to explain it but I can feel it. & I know that you are with me every step of the way and in the valley or on the mountain top I will praise you because one day you decided to call my name. & since you are nothing like us.. and at our best we are only a hint of what you truly are, you will never forget my name. I will praise you oh Lord and I will still love you. Because, you have chosen me.. you have called MY NAME! God, and as I go through this and in the midst of this, although it may cross my mind, I will never ask why, Lord.. Because, you know what's best for me. You have never had a counselor and you have never had a question that has crossed your mind. You know all things, you are all knowing and all powerful and you know what is best. You know just what I need when I need it. & <span style="font-style: italic;">You will give me just what I need when I need it</span>. Thank you, Lord!<br /><br />:) In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2XC7OLoJu6k?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2XC7OLoJu6k?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /></span>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1206060656495284762.post-23502018655198714322010-10-05T20:32:00.000-07:002010-10-05T20:33:52.370-07:00ON FIRE<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Dear God,</span><br />Thank you so much for loving me so good & one day calling my name!<br /><br />In Jesus Name.<br /><br />Love, me.<br /></span>Jamie Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452736268578339578noreply@blogger.com1