Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm not that girl..

I keep telling myself that..

An incident happened the other day & ever since, I have compared myself to that girl. I don't look like that girl. I'm not as skinny as that girl, my hair doesn't do good like that girls, I can't get my makeup to do that, my eyes ain't that blue, my teeth aren't that white, my clothes don't fit me like that.

I wasn't jealous of that girl, because I love who I am (inside). I was jealous of the fact that she could make him look at her like that. I was jealous because I can't make him look at me like that, because I'm not that.. & I never will be. It'd take years. I wasn't completely jealous, I just felt bad about myself.

In the last two weeks, I've lost 11 lbs. In the right way, no. Hahaha, but 11 lbs none the less. & they all seemed pointless & at loss.

Here's what I'm getting to. I am not put together.. at all. I have decided, I'm going on a diet & some serious excersize. & in like a year or two I'll look like that girl. Well, I don't want to look exactly like her, but I'll be a Jamie that I'm happy with & I can wake up & be like "Jamie.. you are pretty:)" & smile at myself..

This isn't a new years resolution. It's a jamieswantedtobeskinnyforyearsspurofthemomentdecision thing. Hahaha:)


chadandnikki said...

You're right. You aren't that girl. And that's a good thing. You are Jamie. Made in God's image. You are beautiful. I'm jealous of you ridiculously skinny waist. Sigh.

Be comfortable as the person God made you to be. Love yourself and get HEALTHY(not skinny) for you.