I'm not that girl..

I keep telling myself that..

An incident happened the other day & ever since, I have compared myself to that girl. I don't look like that girl. I'm not as skinny as that girl, my hair doesn't do good like that girls, I can't get my makeup to do that, my eyes ain't that blue, my teeth aren't that white, my clothes don't fit me like that.

I wasn't jealous of that girl, because I love who I am (inside). I was jealous of the fact that she could make him look at her like that. I was jealous because I can't make him look at me like that, because I'm not that.. & I never will be. It'd take years. I wasn't completely jealous, I just felt bad about myself.

In the last two weeks, I've lost 11 lbs. In the right way, no. Hahaha, but 11 lbs none the less. & they all seemed pointless & at loss.

Here's what I'm getting to. I am not put together.. at all. I have decided, I'm going on a diet & some serious excersize. & in like a year or two I'll look like that girl. Well, I don't want to look exactly like her, but I'll be a Jamie that I'm happy with & I can wake up & be like "Jamie.. you are pretty:)" & smile at myself..

This isn't a new years resolution. It's a jamieswantedtobeskinnyforyearsspurofthemomentdecision thing. Hahaha:)