Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Birthday Daddy!

On November 26, 1958 a 26 year old woman gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
At the age of 17 on March 17, 1976 he went on his first date with a beautiful 15 year old girl. He looked her in her eyes and said “I’m going to marry you”. What she didn’t know was, he was right. In the summer of that same year, this 17 year old young man went to see this beautiful young woman at Carswell Memorial Baptist Church, what he didn’t know is that his life would change on that very same day because God pricked his heart and he gave his life to the Lord.

2 ½ years later at that same church on December 2, 1978 he got married to that beautiful young lady who was now 18, and he was 20. He told me other than the day that he gave his life to God, marrying her was the best day of his life.

When this beautiful woman was 20 she gave birth to their first son on November 24, 1980.
On October 8, 1983 she gave birth to their second son and on April 30, 1991 she brought his third child, a baby girl, into the world.

As this little girl grew up this man was her hero, in so many ways and she always wanted to and still does want to marry a man just like him. He loved and still loves his family more than any man ever could he provides for them in more ways than physical needs. He gives them love, happiness, and to that girl, who is now eighteen, strength to go on from day to day, other than “I love you” her favorite words from this man are “I’m so proud of you”. She loves this man more than she could ever love any other man in her life.

When the little girl was four years old, this man rededicated his life to God, and they started going to church at Gilead Baptist Church.
In 1998, God called him to preach, He preached his first sermon at Gilead Baptist Church at the age of 30. At that time, he didn’t own any suits so he wore a nice pair of Dickie blue jeans and a blue and red checkered shirt. It was on a Wednesday night.

In 2000, 2 years later, after a long reluctant battle with the Lord, this man accepted the pastorialship of McDowell Independent Presbyterian Church. Where he has now been preaching, in 9 years. He has grown to love the little church that he was so reluctant to go to, and thanks God everyday for placing him there.

This man’s name is Dennis Avery Carswell, most of you know him as Preacher…but I just call him daddy. I’m the little girl who is now eighteen, and I feel the same about him as I did when I was a little girl. He has been one of the biggest influences in my life and a man that I truly call my hero. As I have grown up with him as my dad I have seen him go through a lot, and at the times that some of the things happened I was honestly too young to know what was going on. However, looking back and thinking about those things, I now understand and now I see how strong this man really is because I have always seen him turn to God for guidance, and he has never let me down. He seriously does help me get through each day of my life when I’m having a bad day, sometimes I think about him and smile, and thank God for just letting me get up that morning and most of all, blessing me with a dad like him. He has taught me to lean on God no matter what I go through…and he has raised me to love God just as much.
My favorite thing about this man is that he doesn't get all caught up in the hustle and bustle of this modern world. He just laughs and the things people thing are so huge and he thanks God and enjoys the simple things God gives him. He's just a simple man and if the rest of the world was just a little like him, it'd be a bit better.

This man helped me through the biggest decisions of my life on a Tuesday night in 1998. I was seven years old and I was scared to die, and he let me know I didn’t have to be if I just trusted in Jesus and that very night I gave my heart to God. Although I have had very many battles in my faith, my dad has helped me get through them with is faith and obedience to God.

So on this day of November 26, 2009, I am here to thank God and to show my appreciation, love, and to honor this man, my preacher, my hero, and most of all my daddy.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happy Birthday Big Brother!

You're a loving husband and that comes with a lot.
You're an awesome preacher, with a big heart.
But to me the most important job is being my big brother.
&& that comes with a lot...
You're suppose to be there for me when I fall in a ditch.
You're suppose to encourage me to keep going when I want to quit.
You're suppose to always be there to listen just when I need to talk.
You're suppsoe to always fix my broblems whether they are big or small.
You're suppose to say "sorry" first cause you know I won't back down.
You're suppose to always turn my frown the other way around.
You're suppose to run the guys off when they make me cry.
You're suppose to tell me to believe in myself when I don't think I should try.
You're suppose to come to me when I fall astray.
Just to tell me God is the other way.
But do you know what the neat thing is?
You don't have to do any of this.
But you do because you're my big brother and I'm your little sister.
&& if you weren't here to do these things...
Life would be hard cause I wouldn't have you here beside me.
To listen...
To talk...
To fix my problems...
&& run the guys off...
To just be there all together.
To just be...
My big brother:)
I love you Chad! <3

Monday, November 23, 2009


AMAZING movie:)

This is my man:), just saying.

Yeah, he's obviously hot, but he is a really good actor too!

Oh && my future husband ;)

Friday, November 20, 2009

I lied,

NewMoon tomorrow @ 9:50. If you are anything like my mom you are at this point rolling your eyes saying "why do you like such a thing?" It's not blood, guts, and blood sucking vampires. Okay, there are blood sucking vampires but the main character is a .. vegetarian. He only gets the animals. Yupp!! True story! & there are werewolves and dang ACTION PACKED ROMANCE! How does it get better than that?

Moving on. I learned the power of words today. (Speaking of NewMoon). My AWESOME SIL (who is as much in love with these movies and books as I am) went and got our tickets today. Well she was playing a cruel joke on me by saying oh so seriously that they were SOLD OUT. So I was like "that's gay, are you serious?" and she was like "Yeah, I must have talked to someone on the phone who didn't know what they were talking about" then I was all sadface and whatnot. Then she said "why are you mad, because you are going to see NewMoon tomorrow at 9:50?" and I said "I hate you, with everything in me" and then she said "what if I died right now?" and I said "you know I was just kidding so it's cool"...

Even though I was kidding, hate is a strong word. REALLY powerful. Today I have felt bad for saying that even though it was a joke and she knows so. The point is words have a lot of power and The Lord has told me all day that it doesn't matter if I meant it or not, I shouldn't ever talk that way..

Moving on: I have thought of the best shirt idea ever and wish I could make it myself. The idea is an offwhite shirt with a picture sortah like this on it.

Maybe with a cross in the back slightly there.. maybe the shirt should be gray.. Anyways, above the picture it should say "Front Line For Jesus". I love the idea, and I'd so buy the shirt if it was in a store. No joke there. Tell me what you think.

Invision with me:)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

You know what?

I don't get to see NewMoon until NEXT week!
Tickets are sold out for 9 shows straight! All weekend!
Is there even that many people in Morganton?
Seriously, hahahaha.

I'm anxious to see this movie.
I love, love, love the books && I love, love, love watching it all come to life!!

It's okay though, I can deal.
I'm jealous of all my friends going.
So I'ma take my jealous butt and go to bed.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Quick Bit

I'm super duper tired but I wanted to zip in real quick to put on record that I conquered one of my biggest fears today.

I rode a horse!

I'm sure you were expecting me to say skydiving or bunjee jumping.. sorry to disappoint. Just a horse:) It's a big deal to me. I haven't rode one in 13 years, I haven't even sat on one in 8. It was fun. I'd put a pic up but it's on my Daddy's phone. Sorry. Maybe if Trish got one, I'll post it later.

Just wanted to share the exciting news!

Friday, November 13, 2009

My Savior, Redeemer, God, & MY FRIEND.

When I'm in trouble, want to spill my heart out, or just want to feel loved and accepted, I got to my best friends. Last night in my Bible study, I learned that God is my almighty friend. When Jo died, and even when she was diagnosed, I was hurt, scared, and the most powerful emotion of all, angry. I figured out, our wills don't line up... I lost my faith... I feel as if by me losing my faith, I sewed a seed that I now regret. I'm reeping the harvest of not feeling His prescense so much, because I was self-centered. I didn't care about His plan. I wanted my plan! So now, I feel like His hand isn't in mine... However, as if He's leading me by my shoulders. Sometimes, I believe, God pulls His hands away from His children to see if they notice or maybe to check their faith. Long story short, my name for God, through what I'm experiencing right now is, my friend.

Yes, yes, yes, He's my Savior, Redeemer, and God and He fills those blanks when time calls... However, sometimes I need to spill my heart out and cry. Sometimes I just need to talk about random nothingness... Sometimes I just need to feel loved and accepted... all reasons that I go to my best friends... However as much as I love them, they can't be that sort of friend, as good as God. Sometiems when you need a friend, you don't neccessarily need them to say anything or even touch you. Sometimes them being there is enough... Sometimes even though I can't feel Him, knowing He is there is enough.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

About Me

I have nothing to say. Nothing extact or life changing has happened lately. I did however update my "About Me" on MySpace (because I have such a busy life) so I will give you the pleasure of reading it:) Enjoy!

Hi, you've reached JamieLynn. I'd tell you all that junk that I'm your average 18 year old, but that'd be a lie. I'm far from ever being average, in any way at all. I could also tell you about all the people in my life and what my likes and dislikes are, but would you really know me then? Ahh, well lets give it a shot, shall we?:) My bestfriends are TaylorJackson & AustinJaynes. Without them I couldn't get through everyday life. Taylor, has just been there through it ALL and for some reason I just recently realized that she was my bestfriend. She's the best support system I could have ever invested in. I'm the light of her world:). Ahh, Austin, he's just that kid that is always on the same page as me, so I don't feel completely ridiculous all the time. Plus, without me he'd never be able to stay in the right box:). ChrstinaThomas is my confidence, and I miss her on a daily basis. She's that best friend, I walk down the greenway with holding hands:). I miss our 3am talks at camp. We will Captain Morgan again. I miss DakotaLynne, oh how I miss my Kota<3. That girl makes me laugh when I don't even feel like holding my head up:) KarleeDeal is the bestlittlesisterinthewholeworld. Seriously. Ask her:) I feel like I am reliving my teenage years through her, and I'd have it no other way. I love being invited along on this journey. I like helping her trace rainbows:). I don't like admiting when I like someone, because then the feelings go away, and sometimes I don't like them to. There is no "love" of my life, as far as a boyfriend goes. But there is this one little redhead that goes by ClaytonAvery that I'd never be able to live without. He's my sunshine. That's the end of that story. He's the only person that can ALWAYS put a REAL smile on my face. The only way to my heart is to know my God like I do and to be able to make me laugh at a moment’s notice. I like to be the funny one in any situation. It makes life easier. My earthly hero would definately be my neice, JohannaRayeCarswell. She passed from Creation to Creator within 63 minutes on October 23, 2009 from some messed up choromosonal disorder called T18. Google it. Her 63 mintues forever changed my life and has made all the difference. I can't remember her, even if I try. That's why I have her picture everywhere. I just remember what happend and how I felt about it, and I can't recall that all that well. That's what makes me sad. Not her passing but the fact that I can't remember. She will forever be in my heart, and she's always on my mind. I miss my childhood more than any normal person should. I love my family more than anything on this whole earth. I have the BEST big brothers in the whole world. ChadAvery & AndrewRyan. They are overprotective, sure. But if they weren't, how would I know that they love me so much? My Dad is the most simple man that you'll ever meet, and that's why I love him so much. He doesn't get all caught up in the hustle bustle of this ridiculous world. My mom is just great. I love her so much and thank God for her, she is ultimately the best mom in the whole world. Now that I'm older, I really appreciate her and everything she is. My sisterinlaws top all a sisterinlaw should be and more. Nikki & Trisha. I love these girlies. I'm going to be skinny someday. I think about it too much not to be. Everyday that passes I'm slowly learning how valuable I truly am. && that I am beautiful. Thanks to Austin, I'll never forget. I invest most of my time daydreaming about my future life and not near enough time actually achieving towards it. I invision my wedding everyday. I'm scared of horses, but I'm determined to ride one. I love going to church and everything about it. I love my God as well, and the love He so graciously bestows upon me. Even when I'm so undeserving. He should have been the very first thing on this about me. Taylor Swift is my favorite singer. && I shall admit I'm one of those crazed Twilight fans:) Thanks to my best, Taylor:) I'm not exactly the one that would stalk Rob Pattinson or Taylor Lautner, or attack them in the middle of the street. But I would be stoked to meet them. Oh and yes, I’ll admit that I’m that 18 year old that watches Disney Channel and I do like the Jonas Brothers:). I seriously promise that their good songs aren’t on the radio. I have a limegreen camera attached to my hip & it's trusty sidekick, the Ipod touch. I’m OCD, true story. Test me. Ask my friends. I once went 26 seconds without straightening the hymn books on the back of the pew at church. But that’s because Austin was there and grabbed my arm every time I tried. See.. by me telling you all this, you still have no idea who I am. Let’s just say I’m confused a lot and wouldn’t be able to do anything without some awesome people in my life. I’m blessed beyond measure, and I’m just learning that. My goal in life is to Experience God Everyday!:)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, November 9, 2009

He's Mr. Green Christmas, he's Mr. Sun, he's Mr. Heat Blister, he's Mr. Hundred and One

My nephew is the Heat Miser... You aren't going to understand until you see what his hair looked like the other day.. but this is as spikey as it gets today:) But really, the other day he looked like Heat Miser.
Don't know who that is?
Let me introduce you to my favorite 25 days of Christmas show!
This is just the most famous song of the show...

Friday, November 6, 2009

It's a strange feeling

Missing someone is the strangest feeling. I'm not talking about missing someone because they went away for a week or so. Because when I was a kid my dad went to Mexico for a week and I missed him so bad. Then when I got a little older, my oldest brother, Chad, went to Florida with his now wife, Nikki, and I missed him WAY more than a little 8 year old sister should. No, that's not the type of miss I'm talking about. I'm talking about missing someone because they aren't here anymore at all. Not in body or spirit or anything.

It's the strangest thing. Two weeks ago today my perfect neice went to be with our Savior. Today, I miss her more than I have through out the whole shabang. It's weird for me. I think today it hit me because, well I'm not really sure why it hit me all of a sudden today. It just did. Okay, I'm rambling... let me explain this.

My mind does not wrap around death or any sort of it. When I was a kid it wouldn't even wrap around when my first pet goldfish Teej died, or even when my puppy Angel died, or especially when my favorite dog or sidekick, Slinkey died. No, I'm not comparing my neice to an animal. I'm saying that's the only loss I had at that time. Okay, I sound like a complete idiot. Let me start over...


My mind doesn't wrap around death or any sort of it. I can't comprehend it. My mind blocks it out and it's like a dream. I blocked Johanna completely out of my mind after she was gone. Not that I didn't love her. Because I truely did. From her perfect painted on lips, to her curly black hair, down to her second toe being bigger than the first, and right back up to her crooked pinkies like her Pawpaw, Daddy, and I all have. I just blocked it out. It’s a block in my mind now. When I want to go to a Johanna box. I can’t get in. It’s locked, and I forgot the combination. I see her picture and it’s like I can’t remember. I mean, I know I was there and I know what happened but it’s like I wasn’t there. Does that make sense?

It's okay to say I'm crazy. Really, I get it a lot.

However, today, I looked up at her picture on our wall and just remembered it all. It's like I picked the lock and remembered and it was amazing. I remembered every emotion I had from the day I found out Nikki was pregnant. I loved it. The excitement, the love, the joy... then I remembered the sadness of it all when we found out in April '09 that Jo wasn't going to be like her big brother. She was going to have some messed up chromosone thing called T18. Still yet I loved her unconditionally. I knew she would be perfect. I'm sitting her crying, retracing the memory I had of today. So I blocked the T18... like if I didn't think about it would go away and everything would be fine. So the more I blocked it, the harder it got. It was like this thing inside me eating at me saying "you have to deal with me Jamie"... so I started dealing with it, and the thing I didn't want to happen in the first place happened... I got angry with God. I mean, I was flat out mad. I've never been so angry at anything in my life. I never dealt with that until camp. Then I was okay with it.

Then today I was thinking about how I had this "peace" with everything. It's like I felt that everything was going to be hunky-dory and we'd be playing with Jo right now, she'd be 2 precious weeks old. But the truth is, that's not how it was going to be and deep down in my heart, I knew that it wasn't going to be that way but once again, I ignored it because I thought, maybe, just maybe it'd go away. Of course, it didn't. I have learned that just because you ignore them it isn't going to go away.

Back to the real world and not remembering anything: I'm not so mad at God anymore. I mean, I am sortah. We have been doing this Bible Study called Experiencing God... and it's really great. & it asked me if I completely loved God with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. I had to check the no box. Yeah, I see your mouth dropping open... because to the whole world I'm this wonderful Christian and I love God so much. I never said I didn't love God. I truely do. I LOVE God so much. I'm just not in love with Him. I don't have that intimacy that my mother, my Dad, my youth leader, or anyone else I know has. I want it, I desire it... I thought I had it. It felt like I found out my favorite love song was talking about a sandwhich (okay that came from a movie for laughter's sake:)). I was wrong, I do love God, I'm just not in love with Him. I worship Him, I adore Him, I fear Him, I respect Him, I believe in Him... But I'm not IN LOVE with Him.

I'm down in my faith now. ALL TIME LOW. It's okay though. I'm going to pull through. God is going to make it all okay. Because you know... He loves me and He wants me and on days like today when I have feelings I don't understand and thoughts I can't express to good, He understands. He understands the tears I am crying at this very moment, and the tears I will cry through every situation in my life. I can express them to Him and He will know. I just really miss her today... more than I've ever missed anything in my life.

If anyone doesn't like this blog, I'll take it off. I'm always worried about what people are thinking, but my blog is for what I think and feel, right? An extremely intelligent woman once told me that I can't do it alone. That I need to tell someone. Because if you do it alone, the pain is much worse. I love you, Nikki.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I forgot about the allergic reaction

I'm so lame, I just Googled something to blog about.
Know what I got?

Today I spent the day with my favorite boy:) We played in the leaves and climbed the hay bails in the barn. Aunt James got a bit itchy (because it didn't even register that her skin is sensitive to hay) and had to come inside and take a quick shower. Plus, Clayton got misquito bit and I needed to be put some Xtra After Bite! on them, just in case he decided to scratch them raw.

Of course he cried and wanted to go back outside, but it was starting to get a bit chilly:( I'm sorry darlin'. I'm sure he forgot and shall forgive me in due time.

I thought that y'all would be happy to receive the news that I have a job! Well not a big job.. just two days a week. Thursdays and Fridays, I will start babysitting a friend of mine's little boy. I hope he likes me"/ hahaha. It's not a lot of money, but it's more than the $0 that I'm making now. True or False?

My darling Daddy got two of his teeth pulled today so we have been stuck in TV Land all day. With Bonanza, Gunsmoke, and Little House on the Prairie. Not that I don't absolutely adore these shows. However, I'm burnt on them. It's okay though. I'm hoping he will pay me back in a few when I ask to watch Little Couple.

Cross your fingers!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Tell me what you think

I'm sure some of you have noticed, but I thought I would point it out that I changed my background and header (just for my comfort and OCDness to make it feel complete).

Don't ask, it's a thing. I could make a list of rituals I have to do.

I think I should get tested. Seriously. Just to prove to everyone that I'm right!:)

Tell me what you think:) (about the page, not the OCD.. haha)