Friday, October 16, 2009

That same hand that holds tomorrow, that same hand is placed in mine:)

I thought I better shoot in here real quick and drop a note or thought or two. I will be staying with my oh so fabulous Sister-in-law, Trisha tonight. Just a girls night that we haven’t had in a while. Well, I suppose once her husband comes in then the girls night will be over… or maybe just starting! Not sure, however, I do know that I will be watching “I Am Sam” tonight, regardless : ) That is such an incredible movie! It’s about this dad that is just so in love with his little girl. However, he is mentally unstable to take care of her. So really, she is taking care of him. It’s just incredible! So go watch it and find out for yourself : )

I also dropped in to tell you, that my good mood has leaked over into day two! I oh so hope this continues. My Lord is just so good and I love Him so much.

My BEAUTIFUL niece, Johanna Raye Carswell will be born in exactly a week from today. We are all so nervous and excited. She was diagnosed with full, head on, straight up, Trisomy 18, otherwise known as Edward’s Syndrome. You’ll have to look it up to get the full story on children like this because I can’t explain it. I’m just not good at it to be honest. So Google it : ) or “gurgle” as my Mom says! She has brought our family together (Carswells & Carrs) in ways that just aren’t imaginable. It’s not that we have grown together physically, I mean we have, however, we have grown together emotionally and spiritually. It’s a big thing. Jo the center of two humongo Christian families. There’s a preacher on every corner of the two and we are all just strong believers in God. I sort of saw her as a test of faith for these two families to see how good of Christians we think we are. Let me tell you, it worked on me. At first I was angry and hurt and wanted to know why God would hurt someone He apparentaly loved so much. I just didn’t understand. At camp one night I was fighting this battle and I didn’t want anyone to know. Because, what right have I? I didn’t have to carry this baby, and I wasn’t the father of this baby. However, at camp it felt like my heart was going to burst if I didn’t share this… despair (for lack of a better word) with the girls. So I did, and we prayed so hard. The second night I went through this again, I was just so angry because I had to watch people I love so much, hurt so bad. When I mean, love, I mean I LOVE my family. After God, there they are in my life. When I love, I love with all I have. There is a beautiful lady in our church named Rachel… she said, “Jamie, honey, are you scared that your will and God’s will aren’t going to line up?” Once she said that I felt every bit of my anger and everything go away. That was EXACTLY what I was feeling. I was scared, angry, and hurt to be in this situation. To not know what was going to happen. That night I found the biggest peace in any situation I have ever found. I just knew it would be okay. Not perfect, or the way we planned, but okay. My Dad said an amazing thing when he preached the other week and the sermon was on “A God who can!” This is what he said, “I serve one who can reach down and touch Johanna, I serve one who can reach down and touch all the sick, I serve one who can reach down and prick the hart of a lost man, I serve a God who can.” How true is that? We LIMIT God so much. As the song “Test of Time” says, “That same hand that holds tomorrow, that same hand is placed in mine.” Ya’ll I learned so much through this. Not to limit God. He can do it WITHOUT our help. I just love him so much.

Right now we don’t know what is in store for us. That slightly scares me. I like to know things. I love surprises but not when they make me this nervous. All I know is she has blessed our homes, our friends, our families, our churches, and our hearts. & I love her so much!


chadandnikki said...

Who knows what the next days, weeks, and months will bring. We have absolutely no way of knowing, but we serve a God who does. He knows what He's doing, who He's reaching, and why He chose us to be His vessel. His love is amazing.