Outgoing Confidence.

I have been reading this absolutely AMAZING book called “The Truth About Guys” by Chad Eastham. When a young girl picked it up she would honestly think that “oh if I read this than I can get a guy. But that’s not it at all! It teaches you how to value yourself so others can to. How awesome is that? He said a couple quotes that stuck out to me that I just want to share with you : ) One was “Trust what God’s word says about you even when you feel bad about yourself.” & it gave scripture that reads: “I will praise the; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are they works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalms 139:14. How true is that. He also gave another quote that says “when you insult yourself you are insulting God.” Which I never thought about but shed a whole new light on the situation for me! It’s like Callie drawing me a picture and me telling her it was ugly. Do you know how horrible that would be of me? Andrew used to do it to me and Mom said that I would cry. It all makes sense though. I have been praying that God would shed some more confidence in me and to let me be more outgoing and it has helped.

I actually really want to teach this as a Bible study for girls from 6^th grade up. However, I think I may wait until Callie is around 11/12 that way I would have around 10 girls in my class. Because right now I would have a total of 2. Of course God can work through 2 just as good as 10 but still. I’m just so excited! I have been writing lessons for it! I think it may be good. I’m just going to wait till God says “teach”. By writing lessons, I’m just getting prepared for that time : )

Tonight Trish, Michelle, Maci, & I all went to Abele’s and there was this girl in line that was about 18-19 and she was pregnant. Well they were waiting on lettuce and I already had mine so this man let me pass them. I asked “when are you due?” and she said “I’m having a C-Section tomorrow” & I said “oh that is so awesome, is it a boy or girl?” and she replied “boy” and I said “have you thought of any names yet?” and she said “yeah Colton” then I told her that I liked that name and she said “thanks.” It was that easy to just talk to someone and be nice. I have no idea why I am so shy.

Then there was this family that was sitting like diagonal from us and this one boy at the table had been looking at me and I mean I don’t mind because I was looking at him too. && what made me excited is that he wasn’t all that ugly at all. He was cute. Wranglers, boots, hat… You know, my style : ) Well Trish starts giggling and I was like “what is wrong with you?” She wouldn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to be “paranoid” I was like “You are going to whisper it to Michelle and not tell me” so she told me. This kid was staring at me. Not stalkerish, just looking. I sat there and was like “I have been reading this book and I’m going to pretend I’m beautiful” and Michelle said “You are!” It made me feel so good about myself that an attractive guy was looking at me! That doesn’t happen very often. Maybe Chad Eastham is right. “When you start to appreciate yourself and value YOU then guys will like you” How true?

In all honesty, guys just don’t look at me. I have this whole new attitude on how I look. Yeah, yeah, I still want to lose weight because it will help build that confidence that I want in myself but this kid was attractive. That’s what got me! I’m heavy. I really am. I’m not going to hide it and try to lie about it. I’m not going to pretend I’m skinny. I mean for all I know this kid could have been making fun of me, I don’t know. But I don’t think he was. Normally when someone is making fun of you they are looking at you laughing. But he was just generally looking at me. I looked at him once and he even smiled at me and I smiled back. It was really neat. Who knows? I might have been looking at my future husband. Hahahahahaha, if it was, we will meet again. He didn’t have blue eyes though. But it’s okay! God gives us what we need, not always what we want. Which is perfectly fine with me! However, God’s word says that he will give me the desires of my heart. God knows that I want to look into blue eyes forever. However, I have a feeling they might just be brown.

It was just so weird. I can’t explain it. I don’t mean to keep talking about it but I felt really good about myself for the time that we were there. This attractive guy, my style (country boy, wranglers, hat, boots, tall, slim….) was looking at ME! I just felt really great, and still do. Forgive me! Hahaha. I hope I can feel like I do today, everyday of my life : )