Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I need to do this...

I need to vent. Severely right now. I don't care who reads this and if they like it. I'm going to say how I feel. Because I'm tired of being the girl who is so humble. I let people run over me because I rather see them happy even if it takes me down. I like being humble, yes, and I'm thankful for that trait. Because if I always said how I felt, I would have a lot of people not like me.

God forgive me, again, for being so bitter.

There are a select few at church that I don't know why they come. Really.. I cried tonight because they distract me so bad from God. I couldn't tell you what the general message Richie was preaching was about. I can tell you some of it and where he read from but that's all. They sit in front of me and text, pop bubbles, talk, giggle, pass notes. && no, my readers they are not children they are in highschool. Sometimes I feel like I'm just too mature for highschoolers... These are the times I wish I went to Burke Middle College. I should have. I really should have.

Then when I started crying...emotions started surfacing that I always push back. I keep hid away. I have like one of my best friends for 8 years (I know long time, it's one of those "since we were kids" stories)... && I have never told him or anything (if he don't know by now though he's a little slower, for lack of a better word...haha). We are getting so close our senior year in highschool but as I look forward as close as we are getting our lives are going in completely different directions. Not just that though, other things are bothering me to. Stuff I don't feel necessary to spill out on the World Wide Web.

Thank you for listening if you read it.
It means a lot. Well sortah. If you have anything to say just tell me.
Any solutions will be accepted at this time :]


Joan Carr said...

Websters definition of humble is "not proud or arrogant", not being someone everyone can run over. You need to figure out who God wants you to be, and go for with all that is within you. You need to tell "this friend" how you feel if God will let you, He will give you strength. You don't want to look back in life and missed t an opportunity and always wonder what if.. The special friend may just need a nudge.

chadandnikki said...

Love you bunches. Life's hard for different reasons on different days. God loves you and wants to take care of you. Vent to God and tell Him your frustrations. Don't blame Him or be angry at Him, but you can(and He wants you to)tell Him everything. Let it all out, you'll feel better.