Monday, November 1, 2010


Dear God,
This life you have allowed me to lead has been an up and down battle since Johanna's first birthday. I know that you allow everything to happen to me for a reason, unknown to me. I also know that I could have stopped a lot of things that have lead me here. & I also thank you that you have forgiven me for failing you so miserably and horribly. I'm so wretched, yet you love me more and more as time goes on. You never fail. You have kept every promise you have ever made me.

No matter the heart break I you allow and I bring upon myself. You're still God. I never thought that I would want to rewind my life and redo everything. I thought I was this amazing person, Lord. But, I'm not. I'm vile, mean, rude, unworthy. Not good at all. But, none of us are.

You'll make a way somehow. There is sunshine in this storm. I can feel it :).

Thank you Lord for my best friend. I almost lost her the other day. I'm not sure exactly what I would do without her. She's the only one who has been there for EVERYTHING and never left me. Well, that's not true, now is it? That is you. But, you have allowed her to be my best friend to be here to help me through everything. Thank you.

I praise you and thank you for finally allowing me and pointing me towards the right kind of guy. I am still going to stick to my dating fast, however if you allow him to feel the same for me.. I will go for it. Is that okay? I believe if you let him.. it's okay. I can just feel you in the midst of it! :). It's all up to you, though. I will love you either way. Because, you're still God!

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.