THROUGH THE FIRE

Dear God,
Thank you a whole lot for our talk we had last night. I really have faith. It's really there and I know it's going to happen. :) I believe in you! One more time, God, just one more time.

Thank you for allowing me to go with Daddy this morning to sing at the Daycare. Those older people can barely remember what happens from day to day, Lord, but they all lifted their hands when asked if they still remembered the day that the Lord saved them.

Will you let more of you shine through me? So, I can stand and say "I am not ashamed" like the little lady at the Daycare. They are a blessing. Thank you for letting me experience that. & if you would like for me to, I'd like to go back next month when Daddy goes to preach. But, that's up to you. You can just let me know :).

Thank you for my progress in this uphill climb from the "problem" that I had. I know with you that all things are possible and that you will bring me through the fire. I know that with you I can do it. You will give me strength and courage and wisdom to stand up and say no.

You have my life mapped out before me and I don't want to do anything in this world to postpone your will. Remind me that the valley's only make me stronger and that in you I have victory. Keep me in your will so that I won't be in your way.

I love you, Lord. This valley has been very difficult, but, I believe with you I can still make it. I believe I'm through the worst part :) and that only better things are to come. I love you so much for calling my name.

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

YOU'RE STILL GOD

Dear God,
This life you have allowed me to lead has been an up and down battle since Johanna's first birthday. I know that you allow everything to happen to me for a reason, unknown to me. I also know that I could have stopped a lot of things that have lead me here. & I also thank you that you have forgiven me for failing you so miserably and horribly. I'm so wretched, yet you love me more and more as time goes on. You never fail. You have kept every promise you have ever made me.

No matter the heart break I you allow and I bring upon myself. You're still God. I never thought that I would want to rewind my life and redo everything. I thought I was this amazing person, Lord. But, I'm not. I'm vile, mean, rude, unworthy. Not good at all. But, none of us are.

You'll make a way somehow. There is sunshine in this storm. I can feel it :).

Thank you Lord for my best friend. I almost lost her the other day. I'm not sure exactly what I would do without her. She's the only one who has been there for EVERYTHING and never left me. Well, that's not true, now is it? That is you. But, you have allowed her to be my best friend to be here to help me through everything. Thank you.

I praise you and thank you for finally allowing me and pointing me towards the right kind of guy. I am still going to stick to my dating fast, however if you allow him to feel the same for me.. I will go for it. Is that okay? I believe if you let him.. it's okay. I can just feel you in the midst of it! :). It's all up to you, though. I will love you either way. Because, you're still God!

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

TAKE EVERYTHING

Dear God,
I want you to take everything I have. Every fear, emotion, thought, family member, friend, hobby, job, boyfriend/husband.. whatever may come my way in my life.. everything. Take the pain inside, take the brokenness, don't stop til there's nothing left. You can have it for your glory. I don't want it anymore. I can not deal with it. I can not handle it. But, you, my God, are the one who can. You are so powerful, long-suffering, and wonderful. You can handle everything I can't. You have already forgiven me.. yes.. but take me and although I don't deserve it, if you would like, use me. For you. By you. I am willing.

I have been so wrong to you , O God, and do not deserve your blessings. Yet I keep seeing them everyday. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are so worthy! I can not praise you enough for what you bring me to. You knew everything that would happen to lead me up to this point. You knew exactly what it would take. Although it was a hard lesson that may or may not be over.. You are in control of ALL things, my God. You are what was and is and yet to come. You know everything that is going to happen. I will not ask why. I am scared to death, but tonight I am stepping out on faith that you know what you are doing. Because, you do. Better than me or anyone else. Thank you for a peace that surpasses all understanding.

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

Dear God,

I have no where to start. I don't even feel worthy enough to come to you. I never knew that people were saying when they said "all the bad things I have done to Christ... & he still loves me, I don't understand why". I think I said that possibly because nothing bad had really happened to me. Other than the things leading up to my salvation. However, God, I failed you after my salvation. Has anyone done this to you? The way I did? After the promise they made and then back out on it?

I don't expect to receive your blessings for a rather long time. If I ever receive them again.. I just ask for forgiveness and your grace. I will never go back and never do it again. I am YOURS.

Please forgive me, I need your grace to make it through. All I have is you. I'm at your mercy.

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

LET THE WATERS RISE

Dear God,
I haven't spent very much time with you today. I have either been chatting with friends, watching movies, or playing with my nephew. Even though those are very important things in my life, I could have stopped for five to ten minutes.. other than the 30 seconds it takes to say my blessing and pray and talk to you for a little bit. To open up your word and glance at a verse or two. Will you forgive me, Lord? Tomorrow, I shall spend some time with you. If you decide to give us good weather, I will go outside and find somewhere to go and sit for my Bible study and spend some time with you :). I think that'd be a perfect date. I know it says where two or three are gathered.. but, how about just one? Me. Will you accept that and come visit me?

This valley gets deeper as each day passes. I get more into myself and alone. I don't like it and want to be near friends all the time.. yet at the same time, I don't. Does that make sense? Of course it does to you.. you are God. You don't have questions. You know what's going on, that's why I'm telling you all this. There's a raging sea right in front of me. Wants to pull me in bring me to my knees. So let the waters rise, if you want them to, I will follow you. No matter what. Because, I know what it's like not to..

I'm holding your hand.

One of my close friends is in a new relationship, Lord. He's more like my brother. & I know how he is with his mind on school.. will you help him to know how to balance both, with you still in the center? I am so proud of him. He has done so good at following his dreams, and you. You let him get accepted into the school that he's always wanted to go to and major in what he's always wanted to do. Will you use him? I know you do in my life daily. He's so humble. Will you bless his girlfriend too? Because, she is my friend too and I want what's best for both of them.

I also pray for Nathaniel. Will you continue to help him and use him and bless him? He makes me smile. He has to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. He is so much like me it's insane! I've never met someone who understands what I'm trying to say. Thank you for giving me such a sweet friend.

My last request of the night, God. I pray for my preacherman. Because, this has been on my heart for a couple days. Will you give him the woman he is suppose to be with? The one that can take care of him and meet whatever he needs? Will you give him one that is in love with you? & wants to adore you and serve you like he does? I'm not sure how long it will take, but I just wanted to pray that for him, because it's been on my heart.

I am going to go now. I love you so.

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

YOU SANG A SONG OVER ME

Dear God,
I am singing my songs in the night today. I am remembering all the good wonderful things you have done for me. You set my feet on a solid rock.. when I was in nasty old mucky clay.. hmm... I start to remember all the bad things I have done to you and then I remember you singing a song over me. I never want this love to end. Make a promise to me now that the love that I feel is so much more real than anything. You are everything God. You are my everything. You have given me a beautiful family that loves you and amazing friends that adore you too.. You have revived me. You have given me new life!

God, I really want to thank you for my new friend Nathaniel. He is a real blessing to me. It's nice to have someone that you can go to and talk about you and your love and your grace and your word and your songs. It's nice to know that there are still amazing people in this world. Good people. Godly people. It's hard to find in anyone. & I value this friendship you have given me. Lord, will you bless him? Will you help him? Help him to always stay happy and loving in you. He's such a sweet soul, oh Lord.

In my book, God, today wasn't a very good day. But, then again.. you gave it to me. So, I will count it as a blessing. I love you so much. & I know that I have began my journey through my valley. I will make it through. Because, you are on the God on the mountain.. just like you are God in the valley.

Will you come visit our church tomorrow? I liked it when you came by last Sunday. It was nice to feel you and spend time with you.

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

FORGIVE ME

Dear God,
I think I will mark today down as a pretty good day. After all you gave it to me when you didn't have to. I love you for that. I know that I have failed you today. I fail you everyday, but today I know I did for sure. Will you forgive me for that please? & I won't ever do that again. I promise. I love you too much, Lord, too much to risk anything with you. I want all of you. I want to be filled with you and for you to know me personally and intimately as I want to know you. I want to be yours. I want you to use me. I am willing to be anything you want me to be. Lord, you've given new life to me.

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

PRAISE YOU IN THE STORM

Dear God,
Tonight I have started the bible study that the ladies at church are doing & so far I love the way it is set up! & the subject that it's about. Knowing who you really are in all your holiness! I notice how people, including me, put you on our level and think that just because we do something good for you that you owe us something when in fact everything comes from you to begin with so you owe us NOTHING! It's an amazing concept. & I love how it was pointed out to me that your love for me is not based on my performance for you. You never change and you have always been the same. What I think of you reflects who I am in every situation that comes my way. Oh, I just like this study so much!

God, you know the things that burden my heart this day. & I know that I am about to head into a valley. I can feel it, I may not be able to explain it but I can feel it. & I know that you are with me every step of the way and in the valley or on the mountain top I will praise you because one day you decided to call my name. & since you are nothing like us.. and at our best we are only a hint of what you truly are, you will never forget my name. I will praise you oh Lord and I will still love you. Because, you have chosen me.. you have called MY NAME! God, and as I go through this and in the midst of this, although it may cross my mind, I will never ask why, Lord.. Because, you know what's best for me. You have never had a counselor and you have never had a question that has crossed your mind. You know all things, you are all knowing and all powerful and you know what is best. You know just what I need when I need it. & You will give me just what I need when I need it. Thank you, Lord!

:) In Jesus Name.

Love, me.

ON FIRE

Dear God,
Thank you so much for loving me so good & one day calling my name!

In Jesus Name.

Love, me.